When initially embarking on the TTC journey there's a sense of freedom that comes with casting aside the pregnancy prophylactics (in whatever form they may be). It's also a little bit scary but it feels liberating. Shortly after follows the confidence (albeit possibly naive) that this will be my last box/pack of feminine hygiene products.
I've lost count of the number of "last" boxes that I've had.
As I surveyed my supply the other day the thought occurred to me that my current stash of products might just be barely enough to get me through Aunt Flow's current stay. My knee jerk reaction was to plan when I would make a trip to the drug store to stock up....then a little voice perked up in the back of my head.
"Why are you thinking about getting more? There's a chance you won't need them for a while. Don't count this cycle out yet when you've barely begun."
Little me was right and I decided to listen to me and take on the challenge of not buying another box. Sure I know if I bought some and happened to get pregnant this cycle they wouldn't rot sitting in bathroom cupboard until they were needed again. They don't have an expiration date...at least I don't think they do. It's more than that. I want to have faith and hope in the success of this cycle. So as a statement to the powers that be of my belief in this cycle I'm going to hold out on buying more hygiene products.
Now this determination has put me in a game of chicken or a race between my existing supply quantity and the length of time Aunt Flow decides to hang around town. In hopes of stacking the odds in my favor and shoring up my supply as much as possible, I've started raiding my emergency stashes. You know, the just-in-case-tampon that's hidden in every purse/bag/suitcase you own. Tell me I'm not the only one who has random tampons hidden in various places (including the glove compartment) in case Aunt Flow catches me by surprise?
Now this is a dangerous gamble in the event that I do exhaust every last smidgen of my supply, including any emergency reserves. If by chance (and there's always a chance) this cycle doesn't end up with a BFP then I could foresee a tearful emergency trip to the drug store with a distraught Residency Widow staring blankly at the feminine aisle picking up the next "last" box, but I don't want to dwell on that possibility right now.
I'm sticking with the positive.
I'm sticking with hope.
I'm placing my bets on this box.
THE last box.