Saturday, August 20, 2011

A second look

Again I apologize for my lack of posts the last couple weeks.  Things have gotten a bit rough, physically speaking, lately.  Then the cherry on top this week was the contraction of some sort of virus that left me fighting off a fever for 24 hours.  Previously I didn't even have the energy to focus on writing; with the virus I could hardly construct a coherent thought let alone write it down.  The last couple days, however, it seems to have slowly turned a corner.  I'm starting to feel better and I can go an evening without falling asleep on the couch.  Hopefully this is just the start of the more enjoyable parts of pregnancy.

Last week Dr Love and I went in for our second ultrasound at the RE to check on the baby's growth.

Baby's 2nd picture...a gummi bear
At 8 weeks 4 days baby was measuring right on track and had a healthy heartbeat of 170bpm.  Even though in my head I knew everything would be fine, it is always comforting to see it in black and white.  After the scan was complete the RE said, "Well everything looks great so I get to graduate you today."  Yay for graduation day!  It was a little bittersweet as I'm sad I didn't get to say goodbye to my favorite nurse but I guess that's the way it goes.  On my way out, the nurse gave me a hug and said congratulations.  I told her thank you and to not take it personally but I hope I didn't see them again.  She laughed and agreed then added "but we're here if you need us."  We have our first OB appointment this coming week and I hope this  is the first step in being a normal uneventful pregnant woman.


This morning was a long awaited occasion.  This morning I took my last progesterone suppository.

No more getting up early to take them so that they have time to be absorbed before I'm up and about.   No more night time dosages.  No more prescription bottles in the fridge.  I'm glad to be done with them, and yet knowing the safety net is gone makes me a tad bit nervous, even though there's no evidence or history that I need to be.  So hear we go supplement free, I hear it's the way to be.


I mentioned earlier that this week I was struck with a virus and a fever that made me pretty miserable.  Of course it left me wondering if everything was fine with the baby.  We still had over a week until our next appointment but my sister in law had recently given us the doppler she successfully used with her pregnancies.  We tried it for the first time shortly after our last ultrasound (before I became ill) knowing that if we weren't able to find anything it wouldn't be too worrisome since we had just seen the heartbeat flickering away.  Sure enough we weren't able to find it. 

After my fever I really wanted some peace of mind and managed to convince Dr. Love to try finding it again.  He cautioned me that it was still really early and even if I was to come into the clinic at 9.5 weeks he'd warn me he might not find it with their better dopplers.  I took his warning and still wanted to try.  He searched, and I searched.  We searched high, low, left and right.  We twisted and turned the doppler, pushing hard.  The only thing we heard was the slow steady woosh of my heartbeat.  We started to pack things up when Dr. Love paused, "let me try one more time."  It took him probably at least another 5 minutes and the first sign of it would have been easy to miss.  It started as just a faint noise in the background of my heartbeat, but there was no mistaking that there were 2 distinctly different sounds.  Dr. Love slid the doppler over just a smidge and there it was loud and clear all on it's own, the chuga-chuga-chuga of baby's heartbeat.  It was a beautiful sound to hear for the first time that brought a great sense of relief.  Dr. Love was pretty proud of himself too. 

So now we've seen it and we've heard I just have to wait for the day when I can feel it but there's definitely a little person growing.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

There's a bean in there.

This week we had our long awaited first ultrasound.  In the days leading up to it I felt excited, nervous and a bit terrified.  What if nothing was there or there was no heartbeat?  This week was extemely busy at work with the day of and after my ultrasound being critical days that I wouldn't be able to take off should we get bad news.  Again Dr. Love comforted me and talked me off my stressful ledge.  I don't know what I'd do without him.  
The appointment started like so many other ultrasound appointments I've had but I anxiously watched the screen praying to see something there.  "There's the yolk sac, and there's the fetal pole, and that little flicker above the cursor is the heartbeat."  Her words were music to my ears and a wave of relief came over me. 
Baby's 1st picture
So far the little bean is measuring right on track and has a perfect little heart beat of 152 bpm.  We have an official due date of March 19th.  It is amazing, albeit still a bit surreal, to know that there's a little person growing in there.  As easily as I cry when I'm stressed or upset, I'm a bit surprised that I didn't shed any tears suring the scan. 

Dr. Love had the day off and when I came home from work to find flowers and a onesie set that I've had my eye on for over a month.  "It's time for us to start getting excited about it," he said as he gave me a big hug.

Since the scan I'm feeling more relaxed and starting to get more excited but I still can't completely belive it's happening.  I'll confess that even though we both really really want this, and we worked so hard to get here I still wonder at times "holy cow what did we just do."  I'm hoping that's pretty normal and will subside as things develop to where I look/feel pregnant and the bean starts looking more like a baby.

Otherwise, how am I feeling?  The nausea is here in almost regular daily waves but so far it hasn't brought its friend vomitting.  Bloat and exhaustion are here too still making it difficult to do anything in the evenings other than be a lump on the couch. 

We go back this next week to get another look and hopefully get our walking papers to graduate from the RE.  I think this next wait will be much easier to bear than the first.