Monday, January 17, 2011

Ships passing in the night

I've been dreading this week. MOLE week. The week where Dr. Love goes into work at 6pm as I'm on my commute home and he gets home the next morning as I'm heading out the door for work. The week where I'll be lucky if I get to see Dr. Love for a hour, total. The week where I'll spend a lot of time alone.

I do enjoy having a bit of time to myself to work on projects in the evening without feeling guilty that I'm taking away from time with him. The problem comes with sleeping, more specifically getting to bed.

1 am
2 am

The night ticks by and yet I'll still be awake, either engrossed in a project or wasting time in front of the T.V. I'm tired yet I find it difficult to go to bed as my sense of time is off and the night seems incomplete without him there. I know he won't be coming home, yet part of me figures it can't be time to go to bed yet, Dr. Love isn't home.

I'll hate the alarm clock more so than usual. This fact always seems to allude me when I'm sitting up in the late night as the hours of precious sleep time go wasted. In the morning I make a mental note to be better about it that night yet by bedtime that mental note will have made it's way to the recycle bin.

I'll still sleep on my side of the bed. Commonly people are excited not to share the bed for a night and look forward to stretching out over the free space. Not me. I'll some how stay just on my side of the bed. Even before I was married I predominately slept on one side of the bed. I guess subconsciously I feel that space is not mine and I leave it open, waiting for him to fill it. This week the only one filling it when I'm asleep will be Buster. It's a good thing he likes to cuddle.

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