Tonight Dr. Love is on call at the hospital. Not wanting to spend another weekend at home by myself, like I did all last weekend as I was sick, I decided to get together with my dear friend MK. MK and I have known each other as part of a larger group of girlfriends for over 13 years. Even though we have all gone our separate ways and can go years without seeing each other, it's that kind of friendship that when we do get together we pick up right where we left off. I count these girls as some of my closest friends and the nearest thing I have to sisters. We've watched each other grow up, have heart break, get married, and become parents. Together we've gone from silly teenagers to responsible adults. I know if I ever needed anything I could depend on any of them.
Recently, however, I have felt like I'm on the outskirts of the group. I was the last one of the group to get married, and likewise I am also the only one without kids. This outsider feeling has become even more apparent during a recent gathering of our group where I felt like I had very little to contribute to the discussions at hand. While most of the talk revolved around stories of junior/juniorette, I have my dog and a job that doesn't offer much to discuss. Processing bills and researching lot counts isn't very interesting to a group dealing with childhood development, sleeping through the night, and school. Heck most days it isn't very interesting to me and I'm the one doing it.
During tonight's girl's night out, MK and I got talking about how I was feeling in relation to our group. MK responded, "well you have to give us something to talk about." In her blunt way I know she is right, but I don't know what to do.
"Get a hobby," she suggested. I have hobbies but I don't have a lot of time to devote to them. I work all day, Monday through Friday, come home, make dinner for Dr. Love and I, spend a little time with him and then it's time to go to bed. Saturday is busy getting caught up with all the essential to-do's that I can't get to during the week. Then Sunday is church and a bit of rest to get refreshed for the next week.
"Quit your job for something you love," MK commented. I'm not sure I can bring myself to do this. I've worked since I was 16 and seeing as I want to be a stay at home mom, I feel like now it's my responsibility to contribute as much as I can to our financial stability.
In the end I know MK is right and I'm left pondering what I can do or change to bring some sort of excitement / interest back into my every day life and kick me out of my rut. Our next big gathering is a couple months out so I guess I better get cracking.
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