Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Am I infertile enough?

Recently a woman on a local message board I visit posted about RESOLVE's annual Walk of Hope coming to our area in a month. I want to sign up and participate. Currently I haven't.

Today, on another message board, a woman posted this article from the Huffington Post about the need to start talking about infertility. Part of me wants to post the article to my Facebook. I haven't.

I'm getting to the point that I want to come out about our struggles. I don't want to lurk in the shadows perpetuating the silence of infertility, yet I can't bring myself to say anything.

Today I realized why. I don't feel like I'm infertile enough to claim the label of infertility. Even writing it I know that it's ridiculous; infertility isn't a competition.

I think part of this stems from the fact that doctors see me as an enigma. My physical exams don't match up with what the blood work shows is going on inside. I have PCOS but I don't look like it. We're young, we're healthy, there's nothing to suggest that we would have difficulty conceiving a child. The only problem that we can find is that I don't ovulate.

We're not doing IUI, IVF, donors, or surgery to correct any physical problems. Currently all it looks like I need is some medical help to get my sleepy ovaries to do what they were designed to. I don't want to trivialize the greater lengths, efforts, and time that other couples are facing that we aren't. I don't want to look like I'm crying wolf and offend other couples with greater obstacles than my own.

So, is that enough to stand among the ranks of other couples struggling to have a family and claim the label of Infertility?

According to RESOLVE's website the answer is Yes. 30% of female infertility problems are due to ovulation disorders and PCOS is the leading cause of infertility.

So I guess I need to get over any denial I have, start stepping out of the shadows, and find a way to publicly embrace my infertility.

1 comment:

  1. I can totally relate to this! I haven't been diagnosed with anything and I don't even know WHY I don't ovulate. We're not even sure whether or not my husband has a real issue. Just wanted to let you know you're not crazy for having these thoughts -- and if you are, then you're certainly not alone :)


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