Thursday, December 16, 2010

First comes love, then comes marriage...

Where oh where is my baby carriage?

Dr. Love and I decided early on that we wanted to wait a year until we started trying to have kids. We wanted to enjoy our time together and get to know one another as husband and wife before we became parents. To me that time together is precious as it's the only time you have for just the two of you because once you have kids, no matter how old your kids are, you are forever after Mom and Dad. It just so happened that the end of the waiting period also closely coincided with the start of his residency which meant he would be bringing home a paycheck.

Dr. Love, being the optimist he is, was confident that when we were ready we would have no problems getting pregnant. I dearly wanted to believe him but as the months ticked by with no baby, the ghosts of hormone problems past began to haunt me.

In an effort to either confirm or dispel my fears I turned to charting my basal body temperature (BBT). I'll admit that when I originally contemplated trying to conceive I did not want to chart. I was worried that I would obsess about it and doing so would let the process of conception take over my life. Time and disappointment has a way of changing things. Now I wish I had done it from the very beginning because I would have learned a vital piece of information early on... I don't ovulate, or if I do it's a fairly week one because none of my charts show it clearly. Getting pregnant is difficult when your body doesn't give you an egg to work with.

The next couple weeks brought several blood tests and along with it a diagnosis. Hypothyroid and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). While it was a relief to have evidence that I wasn't just being an impatient hypochondriac, it was tough to put the nail in the proverbial coffin that we'd be able to conceive without any help.

Being that hormones are both delicate and complex, and the fact that I wanted any treatment we had to be closely monitored, we made an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist (RE). This week, we sat in Dr. M's office discussing our hopes, diagnosis, and treatment. The plan currently consists of clomid, dexamethasone for my elevated testosterone and a trigger shot, but first more tests. I'm hopeful about the plan we have BUT I'm feeling the pinch to get things going. Ideally we would like to have a couple kids during Dr. Love's 3 year residency to take advantage of the favorable maternity coverage, and the window on making this a possibility is closing. I'm getting more comfortable with the fact that we need a bit of medical help but the possible trickle down effect may be hard to swallow. I guess only time will tell.

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